Remembering Me

Since I started having children, I've also always had a part time job or been in school. This is the longest  I have ever gone without doing either since school ended in may and I quit my job as a home health aide to just take care of myself while I was pregnant and the family. I always wanted to give up those things and just be an at home mom thinking that it would make life easier to not have outside worries so that I would have more energy for my family. I  have realized in these months of being home that it is easier per se but I notice that without an outside source of fulfillment, I don't feel like i am exercising my gifts within and that I get restless to do something just for me.

I am reading a  book called "The rules for marriage". One of the rules is "Keep up your own interests, have a life". I think a lot of people lose themselves throughout the course of a new relationship and then into a marriage. I think we feel like if we aren't giving 100% of who we are to our family, we somehow feel like we are doing something wrong.  I've learned over the years as a wife and a mother that if I don't keep up my own interests and allow my husband to do the same, that things get not only dull  but that we struggle more in our relationship and in being the parents we want to be.

Growing up, one thing that I remember about my dad and that still stands out to me to this day was his motivation to do physical activities. He was always teaching my brothers to play sports, or taking us sledding or to the park, EVERYTIME we saw him.Even now at family functions, his side of the family plays wiffle ball, we go bowling, have family golf tournaments or games of pictionary where everyone is roaring in laughter.He instilled that in us and i hope to instill that into my children. I want them to have the drive to live life to the fullest. Children learn what they live and I don't want them to think that all their is, is to be an at home mom or a dad that just works and watches tv.

Gabriel slept through the night for the first time last night and I told myself that once he did so I would start back to school. Summer session looks like it will be a good time to do that. I think ill start out slowly with just a class or two until I can get the feel for it again. I also think ill start a hobby class next month and return to weekly bible study. Anyway, when I start getting down on myself for wanting some me time I remember this, I'm only human and it's ok to feel that way, its not a bad thing and it helps me to be more content and happy, which in turn makes me a better mom and wife. Everyone wins.