The best birthday ever!

Tomorrow is my birthday, i'll be 29. I really don't know how I  feel about it, what I do know is this will be my last birthday before I turn 30, my last year before I am officially old. Honestly I cannot believe it.I cannot believe how fast time goes by.

Over the years I have started to get really sad around my birthday and when the actual day comes I usually cry and want to shut out the world. It's not because I am getting older, its things inside that I won't explain but they hurt the most on that day.

The first year that my Birthday sadness happened, was the worst. I think it was my 24th birthday. I woke up feeling awful. I got Romeo off to school, made Olivia breakfast and resorted to my room. I was flooded with emotions and just cryed and cryed. My mom, best friend, husband and brother called to wish me a good day, my brother even invited me out to lunch via a voicemail but I didn't answer the phone for any of them or return anyone's calls.

Olivia at the time was 4 or 5 and I remember her coming into my room and asking me," Mommy, why are you crying?" I told her I was just sad. She said," Well, its your birthday so you just relax and i"ll go play." She left me alone to have my pity party and was gone for quite awhile. When she returned she had strawberries on a plate. She set them on my bed next to me and told me I was at the spa. Then she proceeded to give me a foot massage and polish my toes. Then she read me a book. After that she led me to the hall where what I saw next made me cry happy tears. On the wall there hung a beautiful mural. Spongebob with a spatula in one hand and a cupcake in the other with a candle. "Mommy", she said." I made this for you, I colored it and cut it out and the cupcake is for your birthday." "Are you happy now Mommy?" she asked. And I was. She had no idea. All my sadness was gone and I never felt more loved in all of my life than I had at that very moment.

Every year now when I start feeling bad I remember that day. I think tomorrow when I wake up, I will walk down to the basement, open my keepsakes box and take out that paper mural that my amazing daughter made me on that birthday that started out so sad. I will look at it and relive that moment, the moment in my life that I realized I AM LOVED and reminisce on the best birthday ever! (: