A roaring success

When my first two children were born, I knew I would bottle feed them. I never once considered breastfeeding and no one tried to persuade me to either. Maybe I never considered it because I was only a teenager or because it seemed awkward, I honestly don't know why really but bottlefeeding worked for us at the time.


When I got pregnant with Gabriel a few years back I was a whole different person. 11 years older than when I had Romeo and I decided I would breastfeed this baby. During my pregnancy with him I read books on breastfeeding but in my mind thought, how hard can it be.

When Gabriel was born I immediately began nursing. At one point during our stay a nurse said to me," wow you guys are so good at that together, I can tell you have nursed a baby before." I told her I hadn't and she was very surprised. I did take that as a sign that I  was doing things right and was proud.

The first week home with Gabriel was hard. He seemed like he was starving all the time and wanted to be at the breast constantly even after my milk came in. Even after hours of nursing the minute I'd take him off  he'd fuss. I was terribly engorged and started thinking I didn't have enough milk or that something was wrong with my milk. Little did I know then that he wasn't latching properly to get what he needed and thus not encouraging my body to produce enough milk.

After 2 weeks he hadn't gained any weight so we began supplementing with formula . I didn't seek help from a lactation consultant until 5 weeks postpartum and at that point my supply was very low. I was having postpartum medical problems, a colicky baby with a medical condition that required surgery and postpartum depression from feeling like a failure. I breastfed on and off  until Gabriel was 9 weeks and then with a heavy heavy heart called it quits and switched to bottles exclusively.

A few months later I found out I was pregnant with Dominique. One of the first things that crossed my mind when I found out was, I am going to breastfeed this baby and this time, its GOING to work! I educated myself on breastfeeding through books, talking to lactation people and asking many questions. When Dominique was born I put everything I learned into practice and reminded myself of the mistakes I made with Gabriel. When I was worried about things I didn't hesitate to call the lactation people. At just 2 weeks old he had gained 2 pounds and the doctor and lactation people called us a roaring success. My heart was so happy and proud, we were doing it!

At a little over 2 months postpartum, I found out that I still had retained placenta that a surgery in the previous weeks hadn't gotten all out (a problem I have had with my last 3 pregnancies). Since it was still causing bleeding their only option was to give me a shot of a chemotherapy drug to try and dissolve the rest of it without damaging my fragile uterus. My first question to them was, can I still nurse my baby. The doctors answer was no and this medicine would stay in my body for 3 months. My heart broke into a million pieces.

I called Prob and told him that I didn't want to take the medicine, that I loved nursing my baby and he loved it too. I worked so hard and this was such a bonding experience that I couldn't imagine giving up after we had come so far. Prob was more concerned about me and said well you have to for your health.He didn't get it, no one did.

I decided that I was going to find a way to take care of me and not give up nursing. I called my lactation consultant and asked them about the medication and nursing. They told me that I only had to stop nursing for one week after the meds and that I could keep up my supply by pumping everytime he had a bottle and dumping it out. I was so so happy to hear this. So that is what we did. For a week Prob fed the baby with a bottle while I pumped and dumped. Dominique was miserable that whole week with an upset stomach. I was so scared that he was going to forget how to nurse and that pumping wouldn't sufficiently keep my supply up.

When a week had passed and it was time for his first feeding, I was so anxious. I put him to my breast and almost heard a sigh of relief. His tiny body relaxed and he nursed like he hadn't ever stopped. My milk supply was just fine and he was so content, me too.

Now here we are almost a year later and im proud to say that other than that one week, Dominique hasn't ever had a bottle, wont take one and really has no idea what to do with one. We are still a roaring success in my eyes. I get so many compliments on still nursing and take them openly and proudly.

As I write this with my nursing baby in my arms I am so thankful for answered prayers, perseverance, strength and the beauty of nature. I get sad sometimes that Gabe and I missed out on nursing longer but I also look at it this way; he still loves me anyway and if we had continued nursing there would be no Dominique.

Everything happens for a reason.

Birthday season begins here and more

His birthday present from us, he LOVES it!

This past weekend we celebrated Gabriel's second birthday anniversary. I don't like to call them "Birthdays" because we all only ever have one real birthday. Friday September 21st was Gabriel's official birthday anniversary. Prob,Gabriel,Dominique and myself celebrated by going to a place called Pump it up.The big kids were at school. This place is a kids dream with many giant inflatable bounce houses, slides and mazes. It was his first time there and though cautious at first, it didn't take him long to discover the fun!

Sunday we had a family party at our house. Lots of family and a few friends came over to celebrate Gabriel. Olivia and I made a pinata for the party since Gabriel loves candy! I really enjoyed making the pinata as it gave Olivia and I something to do together and I always feel like handmade things for the ones you love are just that much more meaningful (not to mention at times much more affordable.)

Dominique's newest favorite thing to do, climb in the car bin

 Gabriel's festivities are just the beginning around here since all of our children have close birthdays with the next 3 in October. It gets a bit overwhelming with so much going on this time of year.

 Right now I am also working on some tough love with both my little guys. I can tell you im sure its harder on me than on them and I just hate it. This is definitely something that needs to be done in order to establish some peace around here, mainly for me. A few things we are working on are; weaning Gabriel, teaching Dom to self soothe during nap and Gabriel to stay in bed at bedtime. More on these things later.

In my last blog post we were in the process of hopefully getting into a new home since we have more than outgrown our current one. With a lot of wasted effort on our part, it doesn't look like it will happen until next fall. I am so sad and defeated feeling about the whole situation, this was all I wanted for our family. The whole time though I guess I have been feeling like we could make this happen since we wanted it so bad. I think im finally realizing that I didn't leave it in God's hands and that is the problem. I know God has a plan for us and just because we want this NOW, he knows when the time will be right and I have to be ok with that.

Rome's first flag FB game

His first visit to the dentist

With that said more organizing, donating and rearranging has to happen so I can keep my sanity. One project I did yesterday was make a craft area in the basement just for Olivia. A place she can go where no one will disturb her. A place if only small where she can create without little brothers(or a big one) bothering her or her creations.