Really nice day

Today was a really nice day. It began with a picnic with my mother at a great park with a splash pad.I really like the fact that they are free and just perfect for the little ones. Olivia still enjoys them too. Rome not so much, but hes a good sport about it. The weather was beautiful and the kids really enjoyed themselves. Last night the two older children and I visited Romes new school and I cant tell you how excited I am for him to go there. The school is in the same community as the amazing elementary he attended and has an outstanding record for top test scores, the best sports programs and great parent involvement among many other things. A rare thing Rome and I got to do this afternoon was go shopping together, just him and I. I let him splurge and get lots of good stuff for school and he was very happy and thankful.I was glad I did and glad we got a few hours together just us, to talk,joke around, shop and eat together, where I was able to give him my undivided attention...it was nice. I cant believe on Tuesday my oldest child is starting Jr high and a month and a day after he'll be an official teenager. Seems like just yesterday I brought him home from the hospital, a teenager myself without a clue. And now almost 13 years later I'm proud of the young man he is. Kind, strong, confident and still mama's boy (shh) Good Luck on your first day buddy, your going places and you'll do great

Knitting, Waiting and more

MT Rushmore in SD

Little Dom @ the beach, hes a crawler now!

Panning for gold in SD



Summer is winding down here and the weather has gotten a little bit more tolerable, just a little. Today the humidity and heat reminded us that summer is not over quite yet.  School shopping is upon us for our 2 oldest and an exciting new school year is only 10 days away. Romeo will begin 7th grade this year and  will be going to a new school. I am excited for him and just hoping the transition is smooth. I know some good friends of his will be going to the school he chose as well, so that should make it easier.

SD

Gabriel sitting with the goat @ The farm in SD

What a busy and fun summer we have had. We took a trip to South Dakota in July for a family reunion, visited many parks, pools and beaches. The older children spent some days with grandma, and we did so many other fun things. I personally am pretty content to be home these days, but not my children, they love being busy doing things and being around extended family and friends.

Just hanging around with Uncle Dan

Over the summer I have been working on my knitting, teaching myself more and trying more difficult projects. I knitted my first project in the round, a cowl for myself and it turned out ok I guess, but I think either I knitted it a bit to loose or perhaps used the wrong yarn fiber. I also decided I would knit all my children something for their upcoming birthdays. I just finished Dominique's. I made him 2 different balls.  I made a few mistakes but overall they look ok. Now on to the next 3 projects. Hope I can get them all done in time, we'll see.

These past few weeks have been filled with some stress, excitement, hope, and prayers. We are waiting on finding out if our plans to move will happen. After being in this house for 8 years we have more than outgrown not only the house itself but also the neighborhood. Everything is in place and now whether we can house hunt or not is just a phone call away. Say some prayers for us please. Our family really needs this change.

One of those days

Today was one of those challenging days you have as a parent. You know the one that begins with a sleepless night before where you are woken up in the morning by the child that kept you up half the night that you thought for sure would have to sleep in but is in your room starving bright and early. It was one of those days when the house is a mess,the laundry is piled high,the little ones are having meltdowns right as your patience is running thin and you are dang near melting down yourself. Meanwhile in the background the older children are doing their best fighting over the dumbest thing you ever heard. It was one of those can I please get appendicitis type days so I can go to the hospital and get a break for a night!? It was definetly a cant wait till your husband gets home to help but when he does is just as exhausted as you are and all hope for some relief goes out the window. Yup it was one of those days when you force yourself to cook because you have to and it turns out awful and noone wants to eat it and they are all whining cause they are still hungry... Yeah its been a tough day. There was a lot more to this crazy day but I'm too tired to go on and if you've been here you know you just cant wait for the day to end. So as I lay here now in this quiet moment breathing a sigh of relief knowing I should have been asleep an hour ago, I'm thankful for this day. I am thankful for my home thats so full of life and even though its been disastrous,I wouldn't change it for anything.

My special day

So, as it turns out this years Birthday was a great one without any bad feelings.I don't know what it was this year. Maybe it was reminiscing on the past and feeling good about that or maybe it was the cake that my older lady friends made me or the beautiful red roses my husband brought me home from work. Yes it was those things. It was also the sushi dinner we got to enjoy at our favorite restraunt with our two eldest while Grandma watched the little ones. I think that was the icing on the cake because anyone with little ones knows how hard it is to eat in peace, especially at a restraunt when you have little ones to feed, chase and keep happy. That's why eating out has been a thing of the past, so that was very enjoyable. Romeo painted me an amazing picture at school and Olivia made me a pretty card and coloring.Prob surprised me with a kindle fire and I love it! I just wanted to share with you all my great day and let you know what a lucky gal I am to have a family that loves me so much!

The best birthday ever!

Tomorrow is my birthday, i'll be 29. I really don't know how I  feel about it, what I do know is this will be my last birthday before I turn 30, my last year before I am officially old. Honestly I cannot believe it.I cannot believe how fast time goes by.

Over the years I have started to get really sad around my birthday and when the actual day comes I usually cry and want to shut out the world. It's not because I am getting older, its things inside that I won't explain but they hurt the most on that day.

The first year that my Birthday sadness happened, was the worst. I think it was my 24th birthday. I woke up feeling awful. I got Romeo off to school, made Olivia breakfast and resorted to my room. I was flooded with emotions and just cryed and cryed. My mom, best friend, husband and brother called to wish me a good day, my brother even invited me out to lunch via a voicemail but I didn't answer the phone for any of them or return anyone's calls.

Olivia at the time was 4 or 5 and I remember her coming into my room and asking me," Mommy, why are you crying?" I told her I was just sad. She said," Well, its your birthday so you just relax and i"ll go play." She left me alone to have my pity party and was gone for quite awhile. When she returned she had strawberries on a plate. She set them on my bed next to me and told me I was at the spa. Then she proceeded to give me a foot massage and polish my toes. Then she read me a book. After that she led me to the hall where what I saw next made me cry happy tears. On the wall there hung a beautiful mural. Spongebob with a spatula in one hand and a cupcake in the other with a candle. "Mommy", she said." I made this for you, I colored it and cut it out and the cupcake is for your birthday." "Are you happy now Mommy?" she asked. And I was. She had no idea. All my sadness was gone and I never felt more loved in all of my life than I had at that very moment.

Every year now when I start feeling bad I remember that day. I think tomorrow when I wake up, I will walk down to the basement, open my keepsakes box and take out that paper mural that my amazing daughter made me on that birthday that started out so sad. I will look at it and relive that moment, the moment in my life that I realized I AM LOVED and reminisce on the best birthday ever! (:

The 4 I am thinking of today

The first person I have to say I thought of today was my Great Grandmother Lorraine. She passed away in 2005, I was with her, I was 20 years old. At the time of her death, I wasn't sad, she had the strongest Faith in God than anyone I ever met and would always tell us we never had to worry when she passed, that she was going where she belonged, home to the Lord. That was her legacy,a great love for God, Jesus her savior and to share his gift with her family. As I've grown older and closer to God, I realize I miss her more now and wish I could have a relationship with her now than I ever did when she was alive. I wish she was here to give me advice, study the Bible with and answer questions that I'd only trust to ask someone that knew Jesus so well. I wish then, when I was younger I had a closer relationship with her. I do feel very lucky though that I was able to have known my great grandmother for 20 years and my 2 oldest children got to know their great great grandmother for 5 and 2 years. Most people would say that's pretty remarkable because most will never get that chance.

The second one is someone I never got a chance to meet. In January of 2002, we lost a baby to miscarriage. It was such a sad thing to go through. Now having 4 children I think of the  life that could have been and wonder if our little one would have been a boy or a girl,who they might have looked/been like and the love I missed out on sharing with them.I carry the memory of my second baby in my heart and know we will meet in heaven one day.

The third person is my Uncle Mike. He passed away almost 3 years ago and although we weren't close he came to me for help to get the diagnosis of what eventually was the reason he passed. During his struggle with cancer we probably spent more time with him in the 9 months before he passed than ever before. I am glad we were able to have that time, even if it was mostly sadness, im glad we were there for him.

Last and most importantly, I remember God, Jesus and the amazing sacrifice for us all. I am so thankful for Forgiveness,Hope,Joy, Grace and Peace that came with that.

Today, I hope that the memories of your loved ones give you comfort.
A funny thing my Great Grandma use to say to us was,"Give me flowers now, I don't want flowers when I am gone, I want them while I am alive".

So remember to give the people you love flowers now, love them and make lots of good memories.

Changes

It has been quite awhile since I have blogged. I have been thinking a lot lately about the best ways to use my time since there never seems to be enough. I like the idea of blogging however it  falls on the bottom of my priority list which I never get that far most days.

One big thing I have decided to try to get away from is Facebook. I find when I am bored or have a few extra minutes I tend to hit that pretty blue icon on my fancy smancy cell phone and check out whats going on in the world of many people I haven't seen since my elementary days. We all know it can be quite addicting. Although peoples lives can be quite interesting, funny, drama filled, etc, I find it strange that I know so much about people I don't REALLY know, if you know what I mean. I like reading what my family/close friends post, but I talk to them on a regular basis anyways. More than that I realize how little time their is in a day and I'd much rather take those 20minutes or so that I would otherwise be on FB, to read my bible, catch a cat nap or talk with my family. With that said I deactivated my account in hopes that I will use that time for the better and keep all the strangers lives a mystery, as they should be. I hope I can stay away, seriously, because I really do enjoy Facebook but just because you enjoy something, doesn't make it good for you.

Gabriel <3

Watching his big brother make something with the glue gun

My sweet baby

Me and my girl

Romeo and his buddy at the 6th grade send off party,so much fun!

Another change I am trying to make is spending QUALITY time with my children and not just being here. It is so easy to be present but not interact. I found that growing up and even now there was a lot of that. So instead of trying to tackle everything that needs to be done im trying to relax and play a little more. Everyday I take Gabriel outside to play and leave the chores for later. I make more simple meals so there is more time to spend. Instead of saying No to the children, that I have to do this or that, my new goal is to say YES as much as possible Instead of Mommy's having time to herself in her room, its been sure you can come in and cuddle and my time comes shortly after when they go to bed.

Having a 12 year old and a 9 year old helped me to realize how short a time our children stay small and I am embracing that fact by enjoying every moment of Dom and Gabriel being little, even Rome and Liv I keep that mindset, they seem smaller to me now then when they were younger because then I didn't realize how small they really were, now I do and  in 5 more years ill look back to now and say." look how little you were"...so... that's where I've been, enjoying my babies, making the most of each moment and working on ever improving. And just so you know I love my role as a Mommy, I do, I really do.